National French Toast Day is coming up on November 28th, and you know what that means: time to whip up some thick, sweet, savory slices of bread soaked in egg and milk, fried to golden perfection, and topped with butter, syrup, and whatever else your heart desires. Sounds delicious, right? Well, not so fast. Before you get too excited, let me tell you some things you might not know about this so-called holiday, and how to avoid some common pitfalls that could ruin your day.
The History of National French Toast Day
First of all, do you know where National French Toast Day came from? No, it’s not some ancient tradition that dates back to the Roman Empire, or a patriotic tribute to the French Revolution. It’s actually a completely arbitrary and unofficial food holiday that was probably invented by some bored blogger or marketer who wanted to boost their traffic or sales. There is no official record of when, where, or how National French Toast Day started, and no one really knows why November 28th was chosen as the date. So don’t feel obligated to celebrate something that has no real meaning or significance, unless you really love French toast that much.
The Truth About French Toast
Speaking of French toast, do you know what it really is? It’s not some fancy delicacy that originated in France, as the name might suggest. It’s actually a way of using up stale or old bread, by dipping it in a mixture of eggs and milk, and frying it until it’s edible again. In fact, the French don’t even call it French toast. They call it “pain perdu”, which literally means "lost bread". How appetizing does that sound? And don’t get me started on the other names that this dish has around the world, such as “eggy bread”, “German toast”, or "poor knights’ pudding". The only reason it’s called French toast in America is because some clever chef wanted to charge more for it, by associating it with the sophisticated and gastronomic reputation of French cuisine. It’s all marketing, folks.
The Dangers of National French Toast Day
Now, you might be thinking, “So what? I don’t care about the history or the name of French toast. I just want to enjoy a delicious breakfast on a special day.” Well, that’s fine, but be warned: celebrating National French Toast Day could have some serious consequences for your health, your wallet, and your sanity. Here are some of the risks you might face:
- Health: French toast is not exactly a healthy choice for breakfast. It’s high in calories, fat, sugar, and carbs, and low in fiber, protein, and vitamins. It can spike your blood sugar, raise your cholesterol, and make you gain weight. And that’s not even counting the toppings, such as whipped cream, chocolate, nuts, or fruit, that can add even more calories and sugar to your plate. If you eat too much French toast, you might feel sluggish, bloated, or nauseous for the rest of the day. You might also increase your risk of developing diabetes, heart disease, or other chronic conditions in the long run.
- Wallet: French toast is not exactly a cheap choice for breakfast, either. If you make it at home, you’ll need to buy bread, eggs, milk, butter, syrup, and whatever else you want to put on it. That can add up quickly, especially if you use high-quality ingredients or organic products. If you go out to a restaurant, you’ll pay even more, as French toast is often marked up as a premium item on the menu. You might also have to tip the waiter, pay for parking, or deal with other hidden fees. And don’t forget the tax. By the time you’re done, you might have spent more on your breakfast than on your rent.
- Sanity: French toast is not exactly a stress-free choice for breakfast, either. If you make it at home, you’ll have to deal with the mess, the hassle, and the potential disasters that come with cooking. You might burn the bread, spill the batter, or set off the smoke alarm. You might run out of eggs, milk, or syrup, and have to run to the store. You might have to fight with your family, friends, or roommates over who gets the first or the last slice, or who does the dishes. You might also have to face the guilt, the regret, or the judgment that comes with eating such an indulgent meal. If you go out to a restaurant, you’ll have to deal with the crowds, the noise, and the wait. You might have to make a reservation, drive in traffic, or stand in line. You might get bad service, cold food, or wrong orders. You might also have to deal with the envy, the criticism, or the ridicule that comes with eating such a fancy meal.
The Alternatives to National French Toast Day
So, what can you do instead of celebrating National French Toast Day? Well, here are some suggestions:
- Skip it: You don’t have to celebrate National French Toast Day at all. You can just ignore it, and treat it like any other day. You can have your usual breakfast, or skip breakfast altogether. You can focus on your work, your hobbies, or your goals. You can save your money, your time, and your energy for something more important or meaningful. You can also avoid the temptation, the peer pressure, and the FOMO (fear of missing out) that comes with following a silly trend. You can be your own person, and make your own choices.
- Modify it: You don’t have to celebrate National French Toast Day exactly as it is. You can modify it, and make it suit your preferences, needs, or values. You can make your own version of French toast, using healthier, cheaper, or more creative ingredients. You can use whole wheat bread, egg whites, almond milk, coconut oil, honey, or cinnamon. You can add nuts, seeds, berries, or yogurt. You can make it vegan, gluten-free, keto-friendly, free range... You can also limit your portion, share your plate, or save some for later. You can enjoy your French toast, without compromising your health, your wallet, or your sanity.
- Replace it: You don’t have to celebrate National French Toast Day with French toast. You can replace it, and choose a different food or activity to celebrate. You can have a different breakfast, such as oatmeal, yogurt, eggs, or smoothies. You can have a different meal, such as lunch, dinner, or snacks. You can have a different treat, such as cake, ice cream, cookies, or chocolate. You can also do something else, such as read a book, watch a movie, play a game, or go for a walk. You can have fun, without being bound by a random and arbitrary holiday.
The Conclusion of National French Toast Day
So, there you have it. National French Toast Day is not what it seems. It’s a fake, unhealthy, expensive, and stressful holiday that you don’t need to celebrate. You can skip it, modify it, or replace it, and still have a great day. Or, you can celebrate it, and deal with the consequences. The choice is yours. But whatever you do, don’t forget to brush your teeth, because French toast can leave a sticky and sweet residue in your mouth. And while you’re at it, you might want to light a candle or use some soap, because French toast can also leave a strong and lingering smell in your kitchen. And you know what? There’s a holiday for that, too. It’s called National Candle Day, and it’s on December 5th. And National Soap Day, and it’s on April 10th. And guess what? I have a lot of opinions on those, too. But that’s another blog post for another day. Happy National French Toast Day, everyone!
National French Toast Day, French toast, breakfast, humor, sarcasm, history, truth, health, wallet, sanity, alternatives, candles, soap, baking, food holidays